10 Day Challenge - Day 8: Fears

8 fears seems like a bit much, but we'll see how far I get

1. My biggest fear is definitely fire. House fires to be exact. The sight of a camp fire or fireplace doesn't send me into hysterics - but the one and only time I've actually seen a house fire, it wasn't pretty.

2. I suppose this explains number 1 a bit better, I'm terrified of losing material things that are important to me.

3. Flying. I've gotten much better the older I get, but there was a time not too long ago when even a month before a scheduled trip I would have nightmares and the smallest thing would send me into hyperventilating panic attacks. Not to mention the actual flying experience itself. I can't even count the amount of times that I hysterically sobbed my way through take-off.

4. Cancer, feel like this disease has touched so many people and ruined so many lives.

5. Open water. This one definitely needs some explanation. It's not the open water exactly that freaks me out, it's seeing things in the horizon. Still not clear? For example in movies when they show those giant oil rigs in the middle of the ocean (think the beginning of Armageddon) it scares the hell out of me. Giant shipping containers also do it. I think it's some deep-routed fear of falling off something large into water. That being said, I also find nothing more terrifying than an empty swimming pool - so perhaps it is the water..

6. Sunflowers. Anyone reading this is probably frowning in confusion right about now. What can I say, I have weird fears. Snakes and spiders I can handle - but sunflowers freak me out. There's something about the giant black spot in the middle, it's not right.

7. In recent years I've developed a bit of a fear of heights, but I think it's the initial leaving of solid ground. Observation decks for example, I'm perfectly fine once I'm up there, and even the ride back down is fine - but going up such a high elevator scares me.

8. Death. In that typical I-know-it-will-happen-one-day kind of way. There's no stopping it, and sometimes I picture myself in my late 80's or 90's and it's scary.

Job Hunt frustrations

2 posts in one day, almost seems like a record. The truth is, I feel incredibly frustrated at the moment and blogging always helps me work through my problems.

Now that I have completed my teaching degree, the next challenge is finding a job. I've spent the better part of the last week scouring job posting websites and applying for positions that even remotely interest me. At the moment I am more concerned with finding something to tide me over until I either get a teaching position or figure out my next step.

It's taken me many years to figure out what I want to do with my life, and in many ways I'm still not 100% sure - but I do know that I'm narrowing it down bit by bit. My frustration is this - I keep finding postings for positions that I know I would be perfect for and that I would love to do, but right now I lack the necessary experience. It's incredibly frustrating. I am fully aware that one of the best ways to gain experience is to intern or volunteer, which I'm completely fine with, except that the lack of money will eventually catch up to me. And then what?

Can someone please invent a money tree?

10 Day - You - Challenge - Day 9 (delayed)

10 days of pre-planned posts - this was supposed to be so simple, and yet I still failed. My pride is feeling a bit bruised, so I'm just going to carry on a if today were day 9 and I hadn't missed an entire weekend.

9 Things I Love (in no particular order)

9. Family - I wouldn't be where I am today without the love and support of my family 

8. Friends - I feel truly blessed to have the wonderful friends that I do, and the knowledge that I could go to any one of them with a problem at any time and they would be there for me 

7. Sunshine - I'm definitely a Vitamin D type of girl, whenever it's sunny I instantly feel happier 

6. My cat - I feel like I love her more and more each day, she's my baby 

5. Avi - I've been quite open about my love for my little blue car

4. Travelling - It's been a recurring theme in my life, and this may sound quite spoiled, but every few months I get an itch to go somewhere new. I love that slightly uncomfortable feeling of a completely new place 

3. Painting - I don't get to do it as often as I'd like, but it's soothing and mindless

2. Clothes - A little on the superficial side, but a good outfit can make or break your confidence

1. Libraries - I practically grew up in one, and of course the mountains of books are an added bonus 

10 day - You - Challenge - Day 10

Hello Bloggers! I found this little activity on a random corner of the blogosphere and figured it would be a fun activity to try!  Also, I'm busy applying for jobs, and constantly writing cover letters is the most depressing thing ever so I'm allowing myself a little break.

The idea is that you post once a day for 10 days and answer specific questions The Day 10 Challenge goes a little something like this:

Day 10: secrets
Day 9: loves
Day 8: fears
Day 7: wants
Day 6: places you want to go
Day 5: foods
Day 4: books
Day 3: films
Day 2: songs
Day 1: picture of yourself

So here goes, 10 secrets about me

10. Sometimes I wish there was a soundtrack in everyday life like there is in movies

9. Similarly, I sometimes wish I had a stylist/hair&makeup artist waiting at all times

8. I have too many visions of the type of person I would like to be. They get mixed up and confused.

7. I still sleep with my teddy bear almost every night. He's been around the world.

6. If it wasn't for the actual flying part, I would love to be a flight attendant

5. I keep a journal, and will occasionally dig out old journals and read through them

4. I'm not good at letting things go

3. I have no concept of what it's like to have siblings. It's a bond I can't even begin to understand

2. I like days where I wake up early on my own, the days just seem longer

1. I wish I was better at crafts. You can blame Pinterest for this one.

The Circus

Something that many people don't know about me is that I've always been kind of obsessed with the Circus. I say "the circus" loosely because any circus will do. What gets me is the animals, acrobats and entertainers.

It probably goes back to my childhood in Germany when small circuses used to come to my town. My friends and I would spend countless hours wandering through the menagerie and watching the show with a childlike awe. When my mom and I were grocery shopping in a neighboring town that happened to have a circus, I was known to throw fits until I was promptly taken to said circus. I was an only child, can you tell?

One of my all-time favorite toys growing up was this Playmobile circus set - I had the center ring, animal trailers  and little acrobat people.
                                        
I just finished reading "The Night Circus" by Erin Morgenstern, and while the chronology of the book was a bit confusing, the plot was amazing. It brought back all sorts of memories for me of circuses I went to as a child.

When most 4 year olds are asked what they want to be when they "grow up" you tend to get typical answers of "princess" , "teacher" , "fireman" or "a transformer" - well this former 4 year old proudly proclaimed she wanted to be a trapeze artist. And to be honest, that ambition hasn't exactly faded. To this day one of my top "bucket list" things is to take trapeze lessons or go to circus school. 

Graduation

Yeaterday was the day I officially graduated for the 6th time.

Although not all of these have been University calibre degrees, I see each one as a stepping stone to the next. Sure, my middle school graduation did not involve a cap or gown or even a diploma, but without it I would not have made it to high school which in turn would not have ultimately lead me to where I currently stand.

this may sound incredibly cliche, but I feel that I'm standing on a bit of a precipice if you will with a " big 'ol world" in front of me. I really don't know exactly where the coming year will take me, but I look forward to the challenge nonetheless.

hope you all have a good weekend around the world

[Posted from my iPod Touch]

Thoughts on Thursday

It's a dreary type of day today (weather wise) so I'm taking this opportune moment to blog a little. I also may or may-not have "HP and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" on in the background (don't judge).

My thoughts:

- I've realized lately that I tend to live my life in a "Plan A" sort of pattern. What I mean by that is that when I have plans for something (be it the future or a trip or something simple like dinner) I generally don't have a back-up "Plan B" to help me out. It isn't a matter of recklessness on my part, it's just that I tend to believe so firmly in Plan A that I don't think of what would happen if it doesn't work.

- I'm slowly rediscovering my love of blogging, so expect plenty more posts in 2012

- I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, partially because I never keep them, but I do know that this will be a year of major changes for all of us.

- Resume writing has to be the most tedious process in the world, no wonder people pay big bucks to have resumes created for them. I totally would.

- Now that I finally finished off my "Gilmore Girls" set, I've been so immersed in Rory's world since Christmas that I'm seeing more and more similarities between her life and mine. Very strange. Here I thought our Grandmothers were the only similarity.

- Now that school is done and I have the luxury of temporary free-time, I've started painting again and added crafts to my activities.

- Pinterest always makes me think I should be better at the aforementioned crafts, but it's a start. I've made coasters, a facial scrub and dry-erase calendar. Baby steps.

That's it for now.

2012.

I took a necessary vacation from blogging the last 4 months, and I come back to blogger to find a "new" version that seems very foreign to me at the moment.

Now that a new year is upon us and one chapter of my life is closed, I am finding it high time to return to my little corner of the blogosphere.

Stay tuned for more posts coming up!